PARANOID

Paranoid is not that light as we could speak out. It's not only the easiest word to come out from your naked mouth. It's not also the hardest word to say it out loud. As long as you could say and spell it well, you're not being paranoid enough to read my entries and so my blog. Hello readers! *wave*

You know what? I am totally write this for MEN. So called boyfriend to somebody, so called husband to anyone, and so called a lover to someone.

Why girls act insanely in front of you. Why they curse. Why they breaking your stuffs. Why they scream in front of ya face. Why they say nasty words to you. Yes, you. MEN from the lists that been written above.

The question is, why? We're big enough, we know how to behave. But do you know how paranoid we are? For still being with you thru ups and downs when you were already bluffed us behind our back? You say you wanna chance. Frankly, we gave you A LOT of chances. You say you gonna change and you showed absolutely great effort to chase us back. WE COULD SEE THAT. YES, WE SEE. But do you think it is worth enough to gain back our trust when you easily tear it apart from us? When you actually cheated and lied to us? That easy??

I am not pointing to anyone here. Don't get me wrong. I just write what I need to write. It's been hectic when I don't have the guts to write or at least backing up those girls whom unfortunately happened to experience all these kind of bullshits. From you guys.

Paranoid is the fuckiest feeling that will not ensure anything to get well as before. When your boyfriends pointing their finger to you when you say that you don't trust 'em. They blaming you and kalau boleh all of your faults that they can fold back, they will. BUT WHO'S THE ONE LYING AT THE FIRST PLACE? WHO'S THE ONE MAKING OUT WITH CHEAP SLUTS WHEN YOU'RE ALREADY IN A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP? SERIOUS = I mean serious. Not that kind of relation yang you guys nak showing off dekat Facebook or bragging about your one night stand!

After all, you still want us back in your life with the konon statement that you were sorry, and you want to change. What is that? And then you're expecting us for not being paranoid of your bullshit mistakes that you did behind us?

Tell you what, we girls can forgive. But IT IS F-ING DAMN HARD TO FORGET. As like our mind would stick on your mistakes. Don't blame us for being paranoid, for checking your phone, your text msgs and etc. Hell yeah, it's annoying. But you have to accept it when you're the one whose making fun behind our back and thus lied to your own girlfriend. Still think that you're not worth all of this? Who's worth to whom? Who's worthy enough??

Yes, girls are stupid. When it comes into relation, loves and stuffs. They noob enough to at least letting y'all go. They dumb enough when they accept you guys back into their life. They moron enough and thus they're blind. Yes we are STUPID. For having unworthy guys in our life. For accepting foolish guys whom always hurting us down. Why? Because love make us STUPID.

So you can enjoy your greatest moment with your buds, telling your guy friends, how many girls that you've been fooled around and so on. How many girls that've been cried because of you and how many hearts that you've been broke. Go have some party. Just go.

Remember that, when you treat girls shitty-ly, karma will haunt you back. Sooner or later, it'll still haunt you. And your daughter, and your grand-daughter or even your sister, would feel the exact same feel like us - bunch of stupid girls whom just too blind because of love.

Keep on lying dear men. Just keep on. For those girls whom had to face all the shitty moments with your shitty ex-boyfriends/shitty husbands/ex husbands, I just hope and pray for you to be strong. Those disgusting men, are not worthy enough to had you or having you in their sickening life. Move on, they'll crashing up someday. You'll gonna be the first person appeared in their worst nightmare bila nyawa diorang dah betul-betul nak dekat hujung tanduk nanti. Frankly speaking, when they'll face the hardest time in their life to death, they will remember you. The all of you. Each one of those foolish girls.

I'm not writing this with full of hatred. I am myself, had gone thru with all of those shitty moments already, and plus most of my girlfriends facing the same thing like me. 

I am not sick of men. I don't trust 'em. If ever you are not even a close like those shitty guys that I'd just wrote, I am sorry. Very sorry. Truly sorry. I am not judging men here. It's just because of most of 'em, the real actual honest man out there have to face all the blaming. So unfair. But hey, men are still the same. They can manipulate you, they can twist their words from wrong to right.

SUE ME! And lets see how many people would agree more with me.

From bottom of my heart, I would like to apologize if this entry had offended any guys out there yang tak bersalah langsung.

Why couldn't you stop lying, be faithful to your own partner? Why? Don't blame us for being paranoid or even for not trusting you. If only you could be in our shoes and feel all the shitty feelings. IF ONLY.

p/s; sorry for this one fine long entry. i couldn't say more, and it makes me to write it here. *off the record*

When They Were Kids,They Wave With Their Big Heart

When you were a kid, you love to wave. Tak kira lah dekat mana, bila semua. Dengan lambaian dan senyuman dari gigi rongak tersebut lah memberikan satu semangat baru kepada mereka yang dilambai. Mereka, :-

1) Si mulia yang mengutip, dan mengumpul segala sampah yang telah dilonggokkan di hadapan rumah kita. I was one of those kids. Yang bila dengar bunyi deruan lori sampah dari lorong hadapan rumah, aku akan kelam kabut berlari ke luar rumah semata-semata untuk melambai abang-abang yang akan datang kutip sampah di hadapan rumah kami. Tambahan lagi bila mereka sedang berdiri di belakang lori sampah sambil tengok sampah yang dah dicampakkan ke dalam lori tersebut dihancurkan ke dalam mesin. It was cool. And when they saw my wave, I could see big smiles from each one of 'em. Tapi,...

kenapa perlu kau tutupkan hidung bila mereka, (masih pekerja yang sama cuma orang yang berbeza) datang mengutip selonggok sampah yang ada di hadapan mata kau sendiri?

Sedangkan, you were just like me. Just like those kids yang dahulunya itulah yang buatkan kau paling teruja. Oh aku lupa, kau dah besar.

2) Juruterbang-juruterbang. Masih teruja bila mendengar deruan helikopter mahupun kapal terbang yang berada di atas awan, dan aku masih sama. Melambai dengan penuh semangat tiap kali pesawat yang dipandu mereka terbang melintasi kawasan/taman/bumbung rumah. Tapi bila aku masih berperangai dan berkelakuan sama seperti aku yang masih kecil dahulu,.....

kau ketawa berdekah mengatakan ianya adalah satu tindakan yang bendul dan tidak matang. Sedangkan kau tahu, kau juga tergolong dalam golongan yang tidak matang itu suatu ketika dahulu.

3) Posmen-posmen yang menghantar surat. Kalau dahulu, aku sanggup berpanas untuk menunggu abang posmen menghantar surat mahupun katalog Makro je dekat depan rumah. Kadang-kadang tu, posmen hantar surat dekat rumah jiran je pun dah boleh buatkan aku beradranalin untuk keluar rumah dan masih, memberi lambaian yang penuh semangat kepada mereka.Tapi,........

perlukah kau untuk memandang sipi dan remeh kepada mereka posmen di luar sana bila kini kau sudah terlalu advance dan hanya menggunakan komputer dan email tanpa perlu untuk berbalas-balas surat lagi? Sedangkan dahulu, kau lah pengumpul setem yang paling setia

4) Uncle aiskrim mat kool/nestle/walls. Kadang-kadang tu dengan tersengih menunjukkan gigi rongak dan hidung penyek di depan pagar bila motor ais krim mereka lalu di hadapan rumah kita, mereka akan tersenyum kembali dengan penuh ceria. Kalau dulu aiskrim Cornetto aku RM2 tapi sekarang dah naik sikit 20sen. Tapi aku suka uncle aiskrim mat kool sebab nanti dia pasang lagu "mat kool mat kool kawanku, mari kita ikut mat kool.....!". COOOOOOOOL.

Apa yang aku nak sampaikan ialah, kadang-kadang hanya dengan lambaian ikhlas dari kita menaikkan semangat mereka. Mereka yang berpanas terik berbakti, mereka yang berhujan lenjun bekerja. Tak perlu untuk menjadi terlalu sombong dengan mereka yang sewaktu kecil dahulu, itulah yang ditunggu untuk berlari keluar dan memberi lambaian penuh ceria.

You can show your appreciation in such a lot of ways. Dan mereka akan tahu yang mereka dihargai :)

just wave, they'll know

To my queen,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY.

YOU'RE MY EVERYTHING.

MY QUEEN, MY JOY AND MY CLOSEST BEST FRIEND.

I LOVE YOU, ♥ :')