Monday, August 29, 2011

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Titik Noktah.

Kita dah nak habis. Tapi kau apa peduli.
Kita dah nak habis. Tapi kau tak mengerti.
Kita dah nak habis. Tapi kau masih menggeletis menari.
Kita dah nak habis. Lepas ni apa mahu kau ganti?

Raya is coming. And normal lah sesi tag-mentag gambar raya pelbagai posisi bentuk tubuh di fesbuk bermula. Dengan ucapan klishe yang sama, selamat hari raya konon mengharapkan sejahtera, sesi maaf-bermaafan yang tak pernah habis.
Seboleh mungkin raya ni macam kumpul dana. Dana untuk buang semua seteru dan musuh berlumba-lumba.
Lagi ramai manusia ucapkan selamat hari raya, lagi konon banyaklah sahabat yang kau suka.
Lagi konon ramailah peminat yang nak wish raya.

Raya bagi aku hari kemenenangan seagama.
Tapi aku jatuh terduduk sial celaka. Tak adalah menang mana.
Kalau kau orang semua letak DP fesbuk raya, aku tak ada pun baju baru raya.
Sebab raya aku dah mati dari umur aku 8tahun lagi.
Aku hanya percaya pada bulan puasa.
Raya aku tak pernah ada rasa suka ceria.

Jangan nak propa sangat ucap selamat hari raya kalau haram kau tak tahu langsung makna dia.
Oh I'm going to private my wall.
No raya wishes for me.
So, samada kau raya, beraya, sambut atau tak sambut raya, semoga tenang-tenang selalu disisinya.
Kot lah ada yang tercinta, kan maksimum kepuasan berlipat ganda?

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Maskulin

Hati batu.
Parut beribu.
Banyak seteru.
Suka aku?
Kita kena tengok buku lama kita dulu.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Vain

There was a little girl wearing a cute blue dress with a grizzly brunette hair. She's playing with flock of seagulls & she has a perfect smile. But, she's been muted when comes to laughs and I've been wondering with a big question mark on my forehead - why?

Dunia tanpa suara iz totally hell for me. I can't accept silent treatment and shits. I can't live in a whole world of bisu environment. It's killing me from the core. Being a konon-steel-woman can't help me overcome all of this related muted scene. I just can't.

Paling tidak suara bayi menangis pun dah cukup sempurna. Kalau aku tak dengar any voices, aku yang menangis apa pula? Buruk bunyinya. So please please please gimme your sounds, your slutty harsh words, your f-ing curses, your everything with of course any kind of sounds and volumes.

I can't help for being afraid this way.
I'm not expecting death and e's.
Why must you brought me your earphone anyways?
Can't you see I'm now at this low level of suffering? Hanging.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Sepatu Kecilmu

Tatkala mereka menyajikan sajian arak berbuih untuk menghilangkan duka,
Aku duduk di sipi tebing,
Pandang semua muka yang bermuka-muka.
Aku hairan. Apakah ini cara ubat luka?
Semalam aku merasakan aku paling tinggi terbangnya.
Berjumpa sekumpulan kawan-kawan baru dan kenalan lama.
Walau duduk di satu meja tapi berlainan cerita.
Cuma, nafas kami semua masih seirama.
Sedang aku leka, aku teringat Barca.
Dua hari lalu aku fikirkan Barca itu sejenis roti yang lazat enaknya tapi,
Barca ialah satu kumpulan pasukan bola.
Tak ada rare mana lah kalau aku tak tahu pasal bola.
Yang ganjil nya, hidup aku dah macam melampau pelesit dia.
Bergoyang kesini sana.
Begembira melampau suka.
Tapi dalam hati aku hilang rasa cinta.
Aku macam tunggu kewujudan manusia yang akan bangun bila nampak aku duduk
Tarik aku bila aku berhenti
Cium aku bila aku merapu
dan, hulurkan Nusantara Hijau untuk aku bila aku menangis sedu.

Macam dulu-dulu, kita pura-pura main sepatu kecil dan aku merupakan princessnya (:

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Tak Lama Mana

Suatu masa dulu, bau ini bau yang sama.
Bau bahagia.
Bau ikan tiga rasa.
Bau satu keluarga suka.
Tapi, makin lama makin lari bau itu.
Makin jauh beribu batu.
Lantas, aku kejar guna sepatu ajaibku.
Yang anehnya, aku pijak lari langgar batu.
Masih tidak dapat kejar bau itu.
Sedang aku berehat dan intai kamar langit penuh bintang,
aku sedikit bingung bila bulan ada dua dipandang.
Aku rasa aku dah hilang lenyap dalam padang.
Telan tegap jasad aku.
Dia bagi aku satu lagu.



"tak ada lah lama mana"

Kembali Bergendang

Bercinta lepas tu bercerita. Mana tahan lama.
Senyap pun tak apa, bukan rugi masa.
Kalau kongsi satu dunia, ada yang sakit mata.
Kalau simpan jauh dalam, kita masih kongsi rasa.
Kongsi perasaan yang sama.

Tapi mungkin itu yang bikin curang.
Bikin lari ikut pintu belakang.
Bikin pasang 2,3,4 jalang.
Bikin cerita penuh berlubang.
Bikin tipu berjambang-jambang.

Sedang elok aku belek album lama.
Aku jumpa satu foto yang agak ronyok.
Foto, aku dengan satu kumpulan patung tak hidup.
Rindu.
Sungguh!

Monday, August 22, 2011

Fit The Hips

I taknak lah bercinta.

I taknak somebody special in my life.

I taknak get married.

Sebab I perempuan. Kalau I kahwin, syurga I bukan dekat bawah tapak kaki ibu I lg, I have to obey under a hubby's spell.

And, men? I just don't buy men. Their words. Their bullshit sweet words.

I nak jadi setia bawah tapak kaki ibu I sampai bila-bila.

Boleh?

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Play with fire

There's always an epic moment when you just wanted to be free, take off your lingerie, play with a doll and smoke air. And you'll ignore the world as people can't get near/attach to you. It's strictly nothing personal but there would be always 'the' time that you just wanna be alone.

I am a mess myself. At one time I need lotsa times to molest my comfy pillows and bed but hence I'll go out and scream instead. So yeah twisted mind my ass. I chose to be this way, I chose to feel this kind of pathetic way but then I realized that I just push people away. Like a petite girl whom would get mad if her puppy'll snot into a tiny box, I'll feel the same way when people around me being care for me too much.

I don't like to be stared. I don't want goddamn attentions and I don't need you to care. I'm enjoying myself to bits & lingering my hips till fit. Just so you know, I got this ice box where my heart used to be.





"and your puppy turned into a big dog anyways. I don't feel it right"

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Harta Itu

Ada satu harta yang tak terperi. Peri dia lebih dari manusia asli. Nilai dia tinggi lagi dari bumi.
Aku pendamkan dalam.
Aku kemaskan simpan.
Aku kukuhkan tangan.
Aku telan.
Aku jilat.
Aku makan.

Masih teringat tatkala dulu, kala jatuh bangun duduknya aku di atas satu buaian kecil,
dan akhirnya ke satu jenis buatan manusia yang membolehkan aku bergerak dan duduk didalamnya.
Aku masih ingat pipi gebu tanpa cela.
Tangan parut yang tak ada.
Mata tanpa kacamata.
Senyum bersih seikhlasnya.

Tapi aku dah tinggal lama.
Aku dah makin konon kecapi angkasa.
Aku makin terbang dari dunia.
Aku dah ada 5, 6, 7 muka.
Masih aku rindu nyawa dan harta.

Kepada semua bayi-bayi mungil dan berbau enak, selamat lahir ke dunia.


Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Goodnight


"when you smile, my heart just stop beating"

"i'm the happiest girl alive"

"i'm officially broke, let's get married"

"promise me you'll always treat me like a lil' girl"

"i'm into you"

"let's move forward and get wasted"

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

It's Not Over, It's Just Began.


‎"Kau, aku kita serupa tapi tak sama, kita kongsi jiwa tapi tak ada daya, kita punya jari ada ruangan nya, kita punya hati senada iramanya, kita punya musik cinta, menari di halwa telinga, kita punya hari-hari seindah dunia".



I think, I'm in love with my favourite crisp.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Why People Drives Me Insane?

There goes the cinematography of life which is ain't cool at all. There's bunch of people that always gives me massive headache and etc. When the conversations started with something serious & then end up with total craps. Oh yeah, we girls did it. Like a lot.

Sebagai contoh : -

Conversation pertama.

A : "you know what, I'm totally messed out. I miss him"

B : "don't be like this, you're much stronger from the inside"

(the second person will console you at the first of conversation and make you calm)

B : "eh how's our plan on next week hah? jadi tak?"

A : "aku xde mood lah.."

B : "eh nak tau that day aku dengar gossip baru blablabla.."

(this is when the conversation dah lost dan menjadi ke arah total craps)

Sometimes we do need it. Distraction from tones of stuffs which totally messed you out and etc. But then, you've been wondering - were your friends put themselves in your situation & were them trying too hard to make you feel comfortable? 

Mungkin salah satu membuat you guys lupa yang you got sort of problems, heavy problems so basically diorang menarik perhatian you guys dengan menukar topik secara tiba-tiba and lastly, you'll forget the main topic about mending a broken heart and etc.

That's the cool part of it. But the saddest part is, when you're actually wanted a person that could hear anything and could lend them ears to you without saying a word or even trying to distract you in a good way. We do need a perfect listener and a comfy shoulder to cry on whenever we need it the most.

And it's getting hectic when you need people to hear you with all of their hearts and then they tend to make fun of you and then they'll forgot the major topic. Sheesh sedih sial T__T
And then you have to start it over again. By looking for a new person to hear the same story from the very beginning.